+- BigCity War Forum (http://darkevins.bplaced.net)
+-- Forum: General Forum (http://darkevins.bplaced.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=13)
+--- Forum: General talk (http://darkevins.bplaced.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=30)
+--- Thread: Thank you (/showthread.php?tid=6557)
Thank you - _usklod_ - 07-01-2022
I'll try and keep this short and concise. I joined this community when I was eleven and that's not hard to see. If you look at my posts, they are all so obnoxious and cringey. I look at them, realise that it was me that posted them, and feel a part of my soul chip away that I won't get back. But I'm still thankful that I was sometimes (usually when it was deserved) bullied by teenagers and early adults because it taught me a lot of things that I value a lot. I had fun playing for hours on this server with people and sometimes I genuinely liked them, and then sometimes I didn't. Some people here were very toxic and generally bigoted. Thanks for that, because it's showed me what not to be now that I'm 17 (I've got my big-boy trousers and everything).
I remember me and my Danish friend Kokolak making this canons than could un-weld people's contraptions, and just bombarding the map like it was WW1. Those tanks were a fucking virtual feat of engineering, by the way. We used to target the Light Bringer and their tanks, which enraged him. I'm sorry now but it was worth it back then, ngl. Eventually, we angered them so much that they got this... infamous woman called Sam to kill us. I'm not going to delve into that shit because I've forgotten half of it and I don't care enough, but what I do know is that she was weirdly fucking good at Gmod. Like... it was odd. She would kill us again and again and move her base to be close to wherever we spawned. We learned our lesson lol.
SirMrGreen is a real one, simple as (I'm holding a pint). We both had long Skype calls that lasted hours on end. Sometimes, he would prop up a glass of milk in front of the camera and pretend to dive into it. And when we weren't diving into milk or posting pictures of the Wiggles, we were spamming stock photos of old people doing funny things. In the server, we ran a Café with a... very 2016 name. And this café morphed into an aeroplane, naturally. We would fly about and fight people at random because we could. Green and I are still in touch after all this. He is an incredible musician and I hope he knows that. Love you man, full homo any day.
There is a lot more memories but this next paragraph is something I've held close for a long time, and I think I need to talk about it now. I'm going to warn you that this paragraph will delve into grooming.
At the end of the day, this server has left me with a great pain. I know how fucking dramatic that sounds and I don't expect everyone who reads this to believe me since I have no evidence saved. There was a user called "twofacetoo" who also lived in Scotland and also loved Doctor Who. We grew quite close and often talked on Skype (pre-Discord age was weird lol) and Steam. We even synced up old episodes of Doctor Who and watched them together, a few films too. But it was only me that would actually Skype call unmuted. I never heard his voice, and I only saw his face once. He saw my face though, and started evaluating me. I was so young and I didn't really know how to feel about this adult who was grooming me. I think I honestly liked the affection, because I lacked it elsewhere. This man fucking groomed me. It feels so good to just write that. I bottled this up for years. I'm shaking just typing about it but it caused me so many problems with intimacy later on with boyfriends and girlfriends. He offered to come to where I live, and book a hotel room. I won't elaborate further. I remember he stayed in Stirling, and I was afraid to go there because he knew my face. This isn't anyone's fault, this is purely me venting. But know this, twofacetoo is a fucking paedophile.
Sorry about that, but it had to be said. Sorry to leave this... love letter on such a sad note but as time goes past and this place becomes more desolate, I want everyone who had to put up with me to know that they shaped me, for better or for worse. We've all grown up now, and this place stays as a testament to how far we've all come. Thank you everyone for the great times, and thanks to Kevin, for allowing all this to happen. And to the guests and "new" users who are seeing this, this must be so fucking weird lol.
Bon voyage!